The Courage To Get Well

by Laura

I am beginning to feel the warm shine and embrace of happiness again. I have not been able to say that for many months. I feel true DESIRE for something positive for the first time in a long time. I want to LIVE, and I want to be WELL. It feels so good to feel a creative spark of any kind right now. Be it little, I am grateful for any feelings of desire to take care of myself and feel deserving of a healthy, happy life again!

The relentless chronic pain of Fibromyalgia and its accompanying depression can take you down into a dark hole. It’s one that you feel like you might not have the strength to ever climb out of.. ever. (most days). After all I have been through since 1988,  I never thought I would get back here, but I did. Over the years, life has been a series of many more good days than bad days, and for that I am eternally grateful to God. I took control of this nasty condition early on, and learned to manage it through the mind-body connection coupled with a host of trial and error natural and traditional methodologies.

I was on the best run of feeling really well for 4 years straight from January 2007 to Fall 2010, and thought I had “turned a corner”. I had found the things that helped me feel better, and the things that I needed to avoid. I still fought with migraine headaches, and a few not so good days, but for the most part I was a completely different person compared to the woman who was walking with a cane in the early 90’s,  and being shown a very bleak future by doctors.

During those good years, I experienced a fairly normal life, and got a little too relaxed about maintaining my health. I suppose I got too cocky and thought I was “better”. No..Not the case! In my case, and in many autoimmune conditions like mine, it’s all about self-care, and life management. Stress is the #1 worst thing for chronic pain sufferers. I look back now and see that I put myself into impossibly stressful situations, which worsened my condition. If you let up on the important things you need to be doing, pain will rear its ugly head with a vengeance. And boy did it ever!!

I allowed the gift of wellness to slip through my fingers. I really did. I now know that I sabotaged myself, as I sometimes do, because I have a false belief that I don’t  truly deserve to be happy and healthy. I know on an intellectual level that its ludecris to even say that! We all deserve true health and happiness.

These past months have felt like a tangled web of chemical imbalances, fibromyalgia,  endless emotions and guilt that I am not enough. I have been so trapped in a self imposed darkness that is so black, that nothing has made sense to me except basic survival and that’s about it. I have been in so much pain that walking for more than 10 minutes was exhausting. Over the last several months, there’s been no interest on my part in ANYTHING. I went from being an active business woman, to a blob in weeks.

The GREAT NEWS is that I am fighting my way out, and I am here to say YES TO LIFE! I want to acknowledge that managing chronic pain and depression takes constant attention.

  • Nutrition (Eliminating sugar, White flour, Chemicals, Adding more Fruits, Vegetables, Nuts, Seeds & Whole grains)
  • Exercise (very gentle at this point, T-Zone and Treadmill, Yoga as soon as I don’t hurt as much)
  • Supplements (Enzymes, Amino Acids, Magnesium, Omega-3’s, B-12, Grape Seed Extract, Multivitamin plus some other supplements that require some explanation. Contact me if you need help at agratefulroad@gmail.com
  • Water – I am drinking 1 oz for every pound I weigh right now, to flush the toxins and especially neurotoxins out of my body. I belive the type water you drink can make a big difference too.
  • Stress – I am listening to meditation recordings that I have loaded on to my smartphone. There are many apps to choose from.
I will be back with an update on how I’m doing soon. So far I am cleansing like crazy from all the good changes I have made. This is typical. I am loaded with toxins and it is to be expected. My emotions are raw, but I feel infinitely more positive than I did even a week ago.
I am grateful for the desire to be well again!

 

 

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